A Child's Touch

Bowling is not really something I am good at. But Han loves it, so I decided, "Hey, why not give it a try?" Our school gave out little cards that let you get one game a day free all summer, so I figured I might as well put it to use.

A little bit of information about me: When I am not good at something, I get very, very upset. If someone tries to make me feel better, I get more upset, because that means that I'm noticably bad. So for a long time, this bowling thing wasn't working out for me.

So the other day I was bowling with Han, and there was this family in the lane next to ours and they have this little boy with them. They are using bumpers, so the little boy isn't doing too badly. He always rolls the ball so slowly. I was not using bumpers, and I was very frustrated because my goal that day was to break 80. I got a gutterball and, clearly upset, went to sit down while Han bowled.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around. The little boy was sitting behind me, kind of turned around and hiding behind the back of his seat. He had big eyes. I smiled at him, even though I was upset, and he returned it, then turned back around, but I kept catching him looking at me for the next couple of minutes.

I did better after that, for some reason. :) I remember later in the game, we both bowled at the same time, and he knocked over about half the pins, and when he turned around to walk back, he looked at me and said, "I won!" I told him good job. He was so cute. ^^

I really love little kids. They always make me so happy. Every time I'm out somewhere with Han and I see a little kid, I just have to point them out and grin. We were in McDonalds once when a little girl with blonde ponytails kept looking over her seat at us. She was so adorable! We made faces back and forth at each other throughout the whole meal.

One thing that I think makes children so charming is that they always seem to be so innocent and, well, good. They seem to enjoy cheering people up, and they are good at it.

Some people would argue that children are naturally bad, with an instinct towards bad things. That's probably true. Children can be heartless and mean at times. But that's a human, isn't it? An instinct towards evil, but a conscious towards good. :) A child is an adult before they've been affected by the environment. Depending largely on the environment, a 'child' may end up with an instinct to do good, such as the urge to help someone on the street or help with the community. And some 'children' may grow to be an adult with no conscious, such as a serial killer or the owner of a huge, isolated business. (Nothing agains business owner people, but really, some of them just don't care about people as long as they are making money.)

So I guess children aren't exactly pure, but since they haven't been as affected by the environment as older people, they come off as much purer than older people in many cases. I can't forgive people who hurt children because of that. They are such beautiful little treasures, with no real way to defend themselves, so when I hear about someone having hurt a child, I just fume and fume and fume. I wish people would be more careful about what they say and show to their children, too. I wish their innocence could be better preserved, but the culture that we have, at least here, doesn't allow it to last more than a few years.

Which makes the little kids all the more special to me. :)

<3 o.

Prom Night

I had only dance three times in my life before Prom:
1. Square dancing required in elementary school P.E.
2. One dance with a cousin at a wedding
3. 0.5 of a dance with Han at a different wedding.

So, my lack of experience and self-esteem made it very difficult for Han and his friends to get me out onto the dance floor last night. Once they did, though, they could hardly keep me off of it. I love to dance with Han, I hardly got tired the whole dance (Although I can't say the same for him).

I wish I could say that I was the same way with bowling. Unfortunately, I nearly ruined Post Prom with my attitude about bowling. I am very self-conscious, so it's very hard for me to have fun doing something that I am not any good at. I am not any good at bowling. This clearly would mean that I didn't have fun bowling at Post Prom, which upset Han immensely. After a discussion and long amount of time in the bathroom re-applying makeup, we were better. I won some free laser tag and he won some free Cold Stone Creamery, so in order to make up for my mopey attitude during bowling, I am planning a night out on the town for the two of us to include bowling, laser tag, and ice cream. :)

Now that you have read all the boring details that mean nothing to you, I will tell you something. It is very hard for me to ever call myself pretty. However, I can honestly tell you that last night, I was not ugly.

Everything I have to say about beauty and the like is in the post "How To Be Pretty" and my basic feelings of myself are in the post "meet o.", but in case you haven't read those, this is what it comes down to:

I don't like me one little bit, and my appearance is a very large part of that dislike. I find the the standards for beauty to be impossible for me to fit into. So, while Prom had its upsetting parts, like bowling, and its energizing parts, like dancing, overall, the best part was feeling prettier than I ever usually feel.

I know that a lot of people, particularly my friends, consider Prom to be one big lame dance, where the pretty girls get to show off their off their boobs, and then everyone else goes and gets drunk, and that's partially true. It's probably the main reason that none of my friends would go to Prom this year. However, every girl should go to a Prom, just to feel prettier than she normally does. I'm partially happy that none of my friends went, because I know that none of them would have had that attitude about it.

You will probably not be the prettiest one at Prom, but you can take advantage of the opportunity to be abnormally pretty. Even though that may not be "How To Be Pretty," it will definitely help you feel pretty. And for at least one night, that's almost good.

<3 o.