Okay, so 100 posts is a lot - but 101 is even more. And for me, it's pretty impressive. I've had blogs before, but I've never kept them up this long or this well. So I feel pretty good about it.
But big deal. There are more important things than having 101 posts on your blog. Like you guys. Anji and Worldman are two of the most encouraging people I know - I feel so blessed to have them reading my blog. :] They comment all the time, even though I am a comment slacker. And a few other people have commented recently, on posts that gave away my strong need for encouragement. I'll admit, I don't know who those people are, but their words, and just the fact that they took time to write those words, made me feel so much better.
All this trouble with Han is overwhelming, but through it I've realized how many people I have to be thankful for. I have some cheerleader friends that I haven't seen much of lately, but I recently realized how much I love and miss them. A few days ago, Han made me cry and I went to find one of them that I see daily. I couldn't find her, but another of my friends saw me and asked what was wrong. Before I knew it, all four of my cheerbuddies were hugging me and telling me that I'd be okay, they'd make it okay, they were going to show him what's up. I never thought in all my life I'd be so happy to be surrounded by cheerleaders.
I'm even thankful for people that I've met through Han, such as AOK. I'm not sure if I've mentioned him before or not, or if I changed his name. AOK is Han's best friend. When I first got to know him, I thought he was a real jerk, but it turns out, I was really wrong. When Han first started acting strangely, I called AOK to find out if anything was up that I should know about. We started talking regularly. I mostly talked about Han and he mostly would get my mind off of it. It was a good system. :] Well, eventually I started to feel bad for burdening him, and talking to him so much, seeing as he had a girlfriend, so I stopped calling him. After a couple of weeks of silence, he texted me on my mom's cell phone and told me that no matter what was happening with Han and I, he was still my friend and I could still talk to him if I needed to. He's also a complete sweetheart. He can tell when I'm down, and he knows how to cheer me up. He reminds me constantly that I don't need Han, even though it feels like it, and that I'm a beautiful, wonderful girl. What I wanna know is how a jerk like Han can be close friends with someone like AOK?
I'm now also friends again with one of my dearest cousins that had a falling out with me years back. Turns out we still both care about each other a lot, and have some problems that I think we can help each other with. And another friend that I haven't seen recently can really relate to my depression very well. I've missed her since she's graduated, and I hope I can start to see her more often. I forgot how supportive and loving she is.
And another guy from my church has been a complete sweetheart. He's always willing to talk to me when I am desperate to have company. I believe I've mentioned him before, but I can't remember what name I gave him, so I'll have to check on that. And a friend of Elsa's has also become a close friend. Last night we had a long, serious talk, and it turns out that we have a lot in common. We kept each other company this morning, since we were both having V-Day Blues.
With all these wonderful people around me, how can I be unhappy about the loss of Han? After all, some of these friendships wouldn't even have been brought to existance without Han. Some of them would never have gotten as strong as they are if he hadn't put me through what he did.
So I'm still upset about Han. But I have a lot of blessings, too. And I should try harder to celebrate all my amazing, supportive friends, instead of mourning the loss of one self-centered jerk.
<3 o.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Long Time, No See
Since the scholarship campaign has ended, I thought I might as well update.
A lot has been going on, I think.
Last night, I went to bed at 6 p.m., and I didn't get up until 6:30 the next morning. I wasn't even that tired.
I finished my essay over the media's effects on girls, and I recieved a 100% on my narrative essay.
I also have made a new friend in my Japanese class, whom I call Senor Raggamuffin Von Stalker Dude. I am not sure that I know his real name. He's tall and skinny and has long, curly-ish black hair that is dyed. I'm pretty sure that it is naturally brown - but I can understand the desire to dye brown hair. My hair is brown, and sometimes I feel so unexotic. Anyway. He's very, very nice, but seems to have some self-esteem problems, maybe even some that counter my own!
Unfortunately, Han is less than thrilled by this developement. He has been in and out of bad moods lately because he is jealous of my conversations with Senor during Japanese. I've talked to him about, and he says it's fine, he trusts me, and that if he can have girl friends, I should be allowed to have guy friends, but every time he sees Senor, he gets all... glares and pouts. I don't know what to do. Senor has few friends and is very kind, and it would be very unfair to neglect him when he's done nothing wrong, but I hate it when Han is unhappy.
Also, today I was talking to Senor in Japanese on the computer, and, technically, we weren't breaking any rules. We were being quiet, doing our work, and the site we were on wasn't blocked. Also, Mrs. Brink usually is very friendly and understanding, but today she threatened to write us both up (via writing across our screens from her teacher-station control computer thing). I would have understood it if we weren't working, but we were both doing what we were supposed to be doing. And did she really have to threaten us? Couldn't she have just been nice about it and asked us to please stop talking and focus more? If we'd broken any rules, it would be different, but we didn't.
Another unhappy instance.
I have this habit that if someone does something that really annoys me, I kind of swat at their face, like a pretend slap. But really, if you can imagine the force you might use to wave a fly away from your face, it is lighter than that. Generally, the tips of my fingers just barely brush their cheek, and it's kind of my way of saying, "Please stop, or I'll probably get really upset."
Another thing is, I hate, hate, hate hunting. I don't know why. I love meat, and I know there's nothing really wrong with hunting, but I hate it when people talk about it like it doesn't even matter that the animals were alive. Well, Han's, ex-friend, Jan, was talking about how much fun hunting was, and I said, "Oh, stop it!" and swatted at her face, as is my habit. Honestly, I barely touched her, if I touched her at all, because she leaned back. Well the next thing I know, she's running around telling people that I slapped her across the face and that she wants to punch me.
I have never really liked Jan before, but it's to the point now that if she weren't 2 or 3 times my size, I might really slap her. She'd deserve it. She's incredibly rude, and now there are rumors flying around that I'm slapping people, when I would never do something like that. I mean, maybe if someone attacked me or something, I'd probably hit them. That's different.
Anyway, the point is, I'm seriously ticked off. Han is having weirdo moodswings. I want to be friends with Senor. Mrs. Brink was nice, and now she's psycho (Something I'd like to talk more about later). Jan is making my high school life miserable. My headache meds aren't helping anymore - I still get headaches every day. I am sleeping even more than I used to. I can barely keep up with my role as Publicity Designer in Drama.
I'm pretty sure that my brain is going to implode from all the pressure being put on it.
Oh wait. One good thing: I won Most Artistic Senior Spotlight for girls. But, I have to share it with Tony. I don't like Tony. I think I've mentioned that before. I'd rather share it with Han; he's more creative than Tony is anyway.
I've missed you all. I hope I have the energy and will to update more. :]
I hope you are all doing lovely!
<3 o.
A lot has been going on, I think.
Last night, I went to bed at 6 p.m., and I didn't get up until 6:30 the next morning. I wasn't even that tired.
I finished my essay over the media's effects on girls, and I recieved a 100% on my narrative essay.
I also have made a new friend in my Japanese class, whom I call Senor Raggamuffin Von Stalker Dude. I am not sure that I know his real name. He's tall and skinny and has long, curly-ish black hair that is dyed. I'm pretty sure that it is naturally brown - but I can understand the desire to dye brown hair. My hair is brown, and sometimes I feel so unexotic. Anyway. He's very, very nice, but seems to have some self-esteem problems, maybe even some that counter my own!
Unfortunately, Han is less than thrilled by this developement. He has been in and out of bad moods lately because he is jealous of my conversations with Senor during Japanese. I've talked to him about, and he says it's fine, he trusts me, and that if he can have girl friends, I should be allowed to have guy friends, but every time he sees Senor, he gets all... glares and pouts. I don't know what to do. Senor has few friends and is very kind, and it would be very unfair to neglect him when he's done nothing wrong, but I hate it when Han is unhappy.
Also, today I was talking to Senor in Japanese on the computer, and, technically, we weren't breaking any rules. We were being quiet, doing our work, and the site we were on wasn't blocked. Also, Mrs. Brink usually is very friendly and understanding, but today she threatened to write us both up (via writing across our screens from her teacher-station control computer thing). I would have understood it if we weren't working, but we were both doing what we were supposed to be doing. And did she really have to threaten us? Couldn't she have just been nice about it and asked us to please stop talking and focus more? If we'd broken any rules, it would be different, but we didn't.
Another unhappy instance.
I have this habit that if someone does something that really annoys me, I kind of swat at their face, like a pretend slap. But really, if you can imagine the force you might use to wave a fly away from your face, it is lighter than that. Generally, the tips of my fingers just barely brush their cheek, and it's kind of my way of saying, "Please stop, or I'll probably get really upset."
Another thing is, I hate, hate, hate hunting. I don't know why. I love meat, and I know there's nothing really wrong with hunting, but I hate it when people talk about it like it doesn't even matter that the animals were alive. Well, Han's, ex-friend, Jan, was talking about how much fun hunting was, and I said, "Oh, stop it!" and swatted at her face, as is my habit. Honestly, I barely touched her, if I touched her at all, because she leaned back. Well the next thing I know, she's running around telling people that I slapped her across the face and that she wants to punch me.
I have never really liked Jan before, but it's to the point now that if she weren't 2 or 3 times my size, I might really slap her. She'd deserve it. She's incredibly rude, and now there are rumors flying around that I'm slapping people, when I would never do something like that. I mean, maybe if someone attacked me or something, I'd probably hit them. That's different.
Anyway, the point is, I'm seriously ticked off. Han is having weirdo moodswings. I want to be friends with Senor. Mrs. Brink was nice, and now she's psycho (Something I'd like to talk more about later). Jan is making my high school life miserable. My headache meds aren't helping anymore - I still get headaches every day. I am sleeping even more than I used to. I can barely keep up with my role as Publicity Designer in Drama.
I'm pretty sure that my brain is going to implode from all the pressure being put on it.
Oh wait. One good thing: I won Most Artistic Senior Spotlight for girls. But, I have to share it with Tony. I don't like Tony. I think I've mentioned that before. I'd rather share it with Han; he's more creative than Tony is anyway.
I've missed you all. I hope I have the energy and will to update more. :]
I hope you are all doing lovely!
<3 o.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
On The Subject of Hattie and Marcy
Emily, my older sister (also known as Emmo), has a roommate who is also one of her friends. Her name, for the sake of this entry, is Marcy. Next door to their house, there is an elderly couple who owns a dog, some variation of a lab. They are unable to walk the dog, so Marcy walks it, and sometimes when she is walking the dog, Emily will go with her to keep her company and get some air herself. Well, Marcy is moving, and the couple was talking about who would walk the dog when she has moved. Emily had told them she would do it if they like, and they expressed their concern to Marcy about Emily being rather small. That is a reasonable concern, because our whole family is "rather small." Emily and I are both 4'11 to 5', but we have had dogs before, and Emily works out. But, Marcy's response wasn't, "Well, I think Emily could probably handle it, she has experience with dogs," or, "She does work out, though, so she's pretty strong for her size." No, what Marcy said was, "Well, sometimes when Emily goes out with us, I let her try to walk the dog."
"Like I'm ten or something," Emily said to Mom later when relating this story.
Marcy's habits of doing and saying things like this to belittle Emily reminds me of my friend Hattie, who behaves similarly (though it took me a few years to realize it).
Hattie was my best friend from second grade through the beginning of high school. Probably in Junior High, we starting having some harsher quarrels than in the past, but in High School, her behavior at times was infuriating. It escalated from telling me I couldn't sing in fourth grade (which I found out about a year ago, isn't necessarily true) to getting really angry if I didn't want to walk to band with her in Junior High to telling me she couldn't go to the Relay For Life with me because she had work the next day during Sophomore year (oh but, by the way, she could go to the midnight showing of Spiderman 3).
I find it somewhat ironic that both Emily and I had/have close friends that have a rather strong reputation of trying to belittle or discourage us. Both Marcy and Hattie will take almost any situation to make themselves look as good as they can... or at least better than Emily or I, often in the form of making us look incompetent, unintelligent, foolish, selfish, ignorant, or weak.
Sometimes I wonder what would have been different about my childhood if I hadn't spent so much time with Hattie. For instance, would I have felt differently about my height? She always called me Shortie in elementary school. Would I have done more summer musicals at the Community Theater? She was always telling me I couldn't sing. Would I have made more friends? She was constantly complaining about or making fun of other people when they weren't around.
I don't want Hattie to sound like a complete monster. She had her good times. She has a good sense of humor and was usually encouraging about my drawing. It's just that as we got older, she seemed to get less and less encouraging and more and more belittling, to the point that, like on the night of Relay For Life, she just came across of flat-out rude and inconsiderate.
It's not really a big deal anymore. We don't hang out very much now, and she's been rather upstaged by Elsa's somewhat sweeter personality. Hattie will occasionally call and try to make plans, but between Han and Elsa, I'm nearly always booked.
I could go into more detail about how Hattie can be frustrating to be around, but I feel I've been negative enough for the day. I was thinking about it because of what has been happening with Emily and Marcy, and how interesting it was that both our friends do that. I wonder if it is them or if it is us?
<3 o.
"Like I'm ten or something," Emily said to Mom later when relating this story.
Marcy's habits of doing and saying things like this to belittle Emily reminds me of my friend Hattie, who behaves similarly (though it took me a few years to realize it).
Hattie was my best friend from second grade through the beginning of high school. Probably in Junior High, we starting having some harsher quarrels than in the past, but in High School, her behavior at times was infuriating. It escalated from telling me I couldn't sing in fourth grade (which I found out about a year ago, isn't necessarily true) to getting really angry if I didn't want to walk to band with her in Junior High to telling me she couldn't go to the Relay For Life with me because she had work the next day during Sophomore year (oh but, by the way, she could go to the midnight showing of Spiderman 3).
I find it somewhat ironic that both Emily and I had/have close friends that have a rather strong reputation of trying to belittle or discourage us. Both Marcy and Hattie will take almost any situation to make themselves look as good as they can... or at least better than Emily or I, often in the form of making us look incompetent, unintelligent, foolish, selfish, ignorant, or weak.
Sometimes I wonder what would have been different about my childhood if I hadn't spent so much time with Hattie. For instance, would I have felt differently about my height? She always called me Shortie in elementary school. Would I have done more summer musicals at the Community Theater? She was always telling me I couldn't sing. Would I have made more friends? She was constantly complaining about or making fun of other people when they weren't around.
I don't want Hattie to sound like a complete monster. She had her good times. She has a good sense of humor and was usually encouraging about my drawing. It's just that as we got older, she seemed to get less and less encouraging and more and more belittling, to the point that, like on the night of Relay For Life, she just came across of flat-out rude and inconsiderate.
It's not really a big deal anymore. We don't hang out very much now, and she's been rather upstaged by Elsa's somewhat sweeter personality. Hattie will occasionally call and try to make plans, but between Han and Elsa, I'm nearly always booked.
I could go into more detail about how Hattie can be frustrating to be around, but I feel I've been negative enough for the day. I was thinking about it because of what has been happening with Emily and Marcy, and how interesting it was that both our friends do that. I wonder if it is them or if it is us?
<3 o.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I Awoke With Devout Thanksgiving For My Friends.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Well, today was my eighteenth birthday! Yay me!
But this entry is not about me.
Today was, of course, loads of fun. Elsa was a large part of that. :) I thought she had already given me my birthday present, a Tinkerbell keychain, but she surprised me today with Tinkerbell stamps, stickers, paper, and a necklace! We also went to go see a movie (Kung Fu Panda), which I thought I was going to pay for, but then she and her mom did. :)
Elsa is a very special friend to me. She is in a wheelchair, but that's not really why she is special. Unlike me, Elsa has been able to overcome the all-too-common mental disability of "I Want To Be Like That." In other words, she has already accepted that she can't be like everyone else, and realizes that wanting it is only a waste of time, and that she should be working on building her life as she is. That is something I am not sure I will ever be able to do.
Sometimes Elsa can be a little selfish, or might not think about how her actions will affect others, but she has been better about that as of late, and even if she can be selfish at times, I think that most of the time, she is focused on her friends. Elsa really knows the value of a good friend, because they are so hard for her to come by. Most people can't see beyond four wheels and a battery to see the heart, the mind, and the smile sitting on top of them. I wish they could, though, because they are missing out.
In addition, she is constantly impressing me with different things that she can do. I am constantly amazed at her abilities, considering that her hands aren't fully flexible. She can write and draw and play video games and open her door and play with her cats and take photographs and all kinds of things all by herself, and I so admire her ability to do things even with her setbacks.
Han also made my birthday really special. :) We are going to Holiday World tomorrow (that's a small theme park / water park a few hours away) and he has been so sweet all day. He doesn't have a steady job right now, and he has been working so hard to be able to take me to Holiday World. In addition, he bought me some "Melt Away Stress" bodywash... how cute! :P
Like Elsa, Han has impressively overcome crummy circumstances to become something admirable. His family is somewhat, eh, shall we say... well, it's just not really a good situation. I have talked about his mom before, but in addition, his father used to be abusive. His sister (kind of) grew up after running away, stealing a van and a gun, getting pregnant twice in high school, and stealing various amounts of money and medication from her mother. That considered, I would say it's miraculous that Han somehow turned out so good. He doesn't smoke, drink, or even curse, and we even go to youth group together.
Han is an amazing guy. He's so sensitive and caring, and patient with my ridiculous fears and obsessions. I also know that I don't have to worry about any kind of safety issue when he is around. I could go on about him for hours.
And, of course, my own family was a great contributor to my wonderful birthday. :) I had made up a list of things I would like for my birthday--a choice of a group of small items or one large item (a keyboard). Surprisingly, I got both! I got everything on my list, including the keyboard, and even a princess-themed party. :) (I'm such a mature 18-year-old, yes?) Mom and Dad really out-did themselves, I feel so special. I am always concerned about them spending money on me, and so I tried not to sound like I wanted anything too much, but they went out of their way for me anyway. :) Maybe it sounds shallow, but I don't think it is. They didn't buy the things because I wanted them, they bought them because they knew they were things I would use and enjoy.
My little sisters, too. One got me a really nice musical snow-globe with Tinkerbell inside it that was on sale at a Disney store, and one of them made me a Sailor Moon tiara and locket. I think that this birthday was really special involving them because I have been trying to be a better big sister lately. I know they look up to me, and I want to be a good example. Hopefully I am doing that.
I thank God for the loving family I was given, and the amazingly strong friends I have acquired. :)
<3 o.
Well, today was my eighteenth birthday! Yay me!
But this entry is not about me.
Today was, of course, loads of fun. Elsa was a large part of that. :) I thought she had already given me my birthday present, a Tinkerbell keychain, but she surprised me today with Tinkerbell stamps, stickers, paper, and a necklace! We also went to go see a movie (Kung Fu Panda), which I thought I was going to pay for, but then she and her mom did. :)
Elsa is a very special friend to me. She is in a wheelchair, but that's not really why she is special. Unlike me, Elsa has been able to overcome the all-too-common mental disability of "I Want To Be Like That." In other words, she has already accepted that she can't be like everyone else, and realizes that wanting it is only a waste of time, and that she should be working on building her life as she is. That is something I am not sure I will ever be able to do.
Sometimes Elsa can be a little selfish, or might not think about how her actions will affect others, but she has been better about that as of late, and even if she can be selfish at times, I think that most of the time, she is focused on her friends. Elsa really knows the value of a good friend, because they are so hard for her to come by. Most people can't see beyond four wheels and a battery to see the heart, the mind, and the smile sitting on top of them. I wish they could, though, because they are missing out.
In addition, she is constantly impressing me with different things that she can do. I am constantly amazed at her abilities, considering that her hands aren't fully flexible. She can write and draw and play video games and open her door and play with her cats and take photographs and all kinds of things all by herself, and I so admire her ability to do things even with her setbacks.
Han also made my birthday really special. :) We are going to Holiday World tomorrow (that's a small theme park / water park a few hours away) and he has been so sweet all day. He doesn't have a steady job right now, and he has been working so hard to be able to take me to Holiday World. In addition, he bought me some "Melt Away Stress" bodywash... how cute! :P
Like Elsa, Han has impressively overcome crummy circumstances to become something admirable. His family is somewhat, eh, shall we say... well, it's just not really a good situation. I have talked about his mom before, but in addition, his father used to be abusive. His sister (kind of) grew up after running away, stealing a van and a gun, getting pregnant twice in high school, and stealing various amounts of money and medication from her mother. That considered, I would say it's miraculous that Han somehow turned out so good. He doesn't smoke, drink, or even curse, and we even go to youth group together.
Han is an amazing guy. He's so sensitive and caring, and patient with my ridiculous fears and obsessions. I also know that I don't have to worry about any kind of safety issue when he is around. I could go on about him for hours.
And, of course, my own family was a great contributor to my wonderful birthday. :) I had made up a list of things I would like for my birthday--a choice of a group of small items or one large item (a keyboard). Surprisingly, I got both! I got everything on my list, including the keyboard, and even a princess-themed party. :) (I'm such a mature 18-year-old, yes?) Mom and Dad really out-did themselves, I feel so special. I am always concerned about them spending money on me, and so I tried not to sound like I wanted anything too much, but they went out of their way for me anyway. :) Maybe it sounds shallow, but I don't think it is. They didn't buy the things because I wanted them, they bought them because they knew they were things I would use and enjoy.
My little sisters, too. One got me a really nice musical snow-globe with Tinkerbell inside it that was on sale at a Disney store, and one of them made me a Sailor Moon tiara and locket. I think that this birthday was really special involving them because I have been trying to be a better big sister lately. I know they look up to me, and I want to be a good example. Hopefully I am doing that.
I thank God for the loving family I was given, and the amazingly strong friends I have acquired. :)
<3 o.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
More Than Kisses, Letters Mingle Souls
I drove past the post office today and had an odd urge to go in. I didn't go in, but I definitely wanted to. It brought to mind my friend Becca, from California. Becca and I met in New York and became instant friends, and continued to exchange letters for a little while. We had plans for Becca to come visit the following spring with an internship-type program she was doing, but she had to quit because her father died and she had to help her family. Not too long after, I lost her address.
There is something special about getting a letter that is oh-so-more exciting than recieving an e-mail. E-mail is nice, yes, but a letter holds more than just the words on the screen. A letter says, "I took the time to hand-write every word on this piece of paper, find one of the last existing envelopes in this digital world, and pay some thirty-odd cents in order to get this to you." That's just special. In addition, you get to read your letter in the handwriting of that person, which is so personal compared to "Times New Roman" or "Verdana" or even "Kristen ITC".
My older sister, Emmo, exchanges letters with her friends constantly. Every time her friends are not home, the letters pour in, and her friends constantly are traveling, studying abroad, attending camp, or counseling at a camp. Japan, Germany, Alaska, Poland, Switzerland, various small towns... Emmo keeps all of her letters in a couple of different boxes, and when she lived at home, I liked to steal them and read them and pretend that they were to me. I loved those letters. Every one who wrote them put such personality into them: "Do you like the stickers? There is only one sticker left on the sheet for me to send to you!" "I found the cutest cartoon stamps! I am going to buy you some!" "Today I decided to write to you in green ink. Why, you ask? Because green is a good color."
I rarely get letters since Becca and I have lost contact. That is, I never get letters. I have a lovely collection of stationary (stationery?) that I keep in a mini-locker under my desk. Cartoon characters and stars dominate the collection, although I also have a few Fresh Inc. cards that I keep in case I need them. (FYI: Fresh Inc. = Best Card Company In The History Of The Whole Universe. Buy them.)
I also have a set of stamps that are themed Favorite Children's Books Characters. Emmo gave me two sets, but I only used one, wanted to keep one them, because they were so cute.
Stamps should not be kept in a locker. Stamps should not be kept in a box, in a book, in a folder, or in a frame. Stamps should be stuck to an envelope that contains an intimate letter, and shipped off to various corners of the globe to deliver messages to distant friends. Afterwards, they should be kept in a container with their envelope and letter, mingling and chatting with the other stamps, sharing stories of their travels and adventures, and reminiscing on "the good old days" when they were being flown about on a who-knows-how-this-will-end adventure with the post office.
I have decided that before next week ends, I will try to find Becca's address again, and if I do, I will write her a letter--with a Favorite Children's Book Characters stamp. There's nothing saying she misses me or that she's not content with the friendships she has at home, but there's nothing say she doesn't need another friend right now, or that she's having an easy time of it with her dad gone. I'll just have to remember to ask her to please not throw away the stamp. :)
<3 o.
p.s.: The quote in the title is by John Donne.
There is something special about getting a letter that is oh-so-more exciting than recieving an e-mail. E-mail is nice, yes, but a letter holds more than just the words on the screen. A letter says, "I took the time to hand-write every word on this piece of paper, find one of the last existing envelopes in this digital world, and pay some thirty-odd cents in order to get this to you." That's just special. In addition, you get to read your letter in the handwriting of that person, which is so personal compared to "Times New Roman" or "Verdana" or even "Kristen ITC".
My older sister, Emmo, exchanges letters with her friends constantly. Every time her friends are not home, the letters pour in, and her friends constantly are traveling, studying abroad, attending camp, or counseling at a camp. Japan, Germany, Alaska, Poland, Switzerland, various small towns... Emmo keeps all of her letters in a couple of different boxes, and when she lived at home, I liked to steal them and read them and pretend that they were to me. I loved those letters. Every one who wrote them put such personality into them: "Do you like the stickers? There is only one sticker left on the sheet for me to send to you!" "I found the cutest cartoon stamps! I am going to buy you some!" "Today I decided to write to you in green ink. Why, you ask? Because green is a good color."
I rarely get letters since Becca and I have lost contact. That is, I never get letters. I have a lovely collection of stationary (stationery?) that I keep in a mini-locker under my desk. Cartoon characters and stars dominate the collection, although I also have a few Fresh Inc. cards that I keep in case I need them. (FYI: Fresh Inc. = Best Card Company In The History Of The Whole Universe. Buy them.)
I also have a set of stamps that are themed Favorite Children's Books Characters. Emmo gave me two sets, but I only used one, wanted to keep one them, because they were so cute.
Stamps should not be kept in a locker. Stamps should not be kept in a box, in a book, in a folder, or in a frame. Stamps should be stuck to an envelope that contains an intimate letter, and shipped off to various corners of the globe to deliver messages to distant friends. Afterwards, they should be kept in a container with their envelope and letter, mingling and chatting with the other stamps, sharing stories of their travels and adventures, and reminiscing on "the good old days" when they were being flown about on a who-knows-how-this-will-end adventure with the post office.
I have decided that before next week ends, I will try to find Becca's address again, and if I do, I will write her a letter--with a Favorite Children's Book Characters stamp. There's nothing saying she misses me or that she's not content with the friendships she has at home, but there's nothing say she doesn't need another friend right now, or that she's having an easy time of it with her dad gone. I'll just have to remember to ask her to please not throw away the stamp. :)
<3 o.
p.s.: The quote in the title is by John Donne.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Prom Night
I had only dance three times in my life before Prom:
1. Square dancing required in elementary school P.E.
2. One dance with a cousin at a wedding
3. 0.5 of a dance with Han at a different wedding.
So, my lack of experience and self-esteem made it very difficult for Han and his friends to get me out onto the dance floor last night. Once they did, though, they could hardly keep me off of it. I love to dance with Han, I hardly got tired the whole dance (Although I can't say the same for him).
I wish I could say that I was the same way with bowling. Unfortunately, I nearly ruined Post Prom with my attitude about bowling. I am very self-conscious, so it's very hard for me to have fun doing something that I am not any good at. I am not any good at bowling. This clearly would mean that I didn't have fun bowling at Post Prom, which upset Han immensely. After a discussion and long amount of time in the bathroom re-applying makeup, we were better. I won some free laser tag and he won some free Cold Stone Creamery, so in order to make up for my mopey attitude during bowling, I am planning a night out on the town for the two of us to include bowling, laser tag, and ice cream. :)
Now that you have read all the boring details that mean nothing to you, I will tell you something. It is very hard for me to ever call myself pretty. However, I can honestly tell you that last night, I was not ugly.
1. Square dancing required in elementary school P.E.
2. One dance with a cousin at a wedding
3. 0.5 of a dance with Han at a different wedding.
So, my lack of experience and self-esteem made it very difficult for Han and his friends to get me out onto the dance floor last night. Once they did, though, they could hardly keep me off of it. I love to dance with Han, I hardly got tired the whole dance (Although I can't say the same for him).
I wish I could say that I was the same way with bowling. Unfortunately, I nearly ruined Post Prom with my attitude about bowling. I am very self-conscious, so it's very hard for me to have fun doing something that I am not any good at. I am not any good at bowling. This clearly would mean that I didn't have fun bowling at Post Prom, which upset Han immensely. After a discussion and long amount of time in the bathroom re-applying makeup, we were better. I won some free laser tag and he won some free Cold Stone Creamery, so in order to make up for my mopey attitude during bowling, I am planning a night out on the town for the two of us to include bowling, laser tag, and ice cream. :)
Now that you have read all the boring details that mean nothing to you, I will tell you something. It is very hard for me to ever call myself pretty. However, I can honestly tell you that last night, I was not ugly.
Everything I have to say about beauty and the like is in the post "How To Be Pretty" and my basic feelings of myself are in the post "meet o.", but in case you haven't read those, this is what it comes down to:
I don't like me one little bit, and my appearance is a very large part of that dislike. I find the the standards for beauty to be impossible for me to fit into. So, while Prom had its upsetting parts, like bowling, and its energizing parts, like dancing, overall, the best part was feeling prettier than I ever usually feel.
I know that a lot of people, particularly my friends, consider Prom to be one big lame dance, where the pretty girls get to show off their off their boobs, and then everyone else goes and gets drunk, and that's partially true. It's probably the main reason that none of my friends would go to Prom this year. However, every girl should go to a Prom, just to feel prettier than she normally does. I'm partially happy that none of my friends went, because I know that none of them would have had that attitude about it.
You will probably not be the prettiest one at Prom, but you can take advantage of the opportunity to be abnormally pretty. Even though that may not be "How To Be Pretty," it will definitely help you feel pretty. And for at least one night, that's almost good.
<3 o.
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