Good Reasons

To Be Really, Really Angry At Han

1. Rape
Yeah. I bet you weren't expecting to see that. Well, guess what? You saw it, and, yup, you saw it right, and you are officially sworn to secrecy. I never mentioned it before because it was too confusing and upsetting. But here's the thing: Yes, it's sex even if no one orgasms. Yes, it's rape even if the girl doesn't physically fight him. If she's repeatedly saying, "no," and he is repeatedly responding with, "yes," and does what he wants regardless - pretty sure it is rape. I wasn't sure before. I'm sure now. And I'm not just sure - I'm ticked.

2. All-Around General Horniness To The Extreme
I know guys are horny. And it can't be helped. But that's why I included 'to the extreme.' Seriously. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a good dirty joke every once in a while? But when that becomes your entire sense of humor, it isn't funny. It's annoying. And kind of gross. And you know what? When someone is crying while talking to you, that's the wrong time to tell her that you are horny for her. It just is. (See 5.) Maybe that's why he's been so mean lately - seeing me cry turns him on. (By the way, that's a little thing I like to call sarcasm.)

3. Dishonesty
He lied about just about everything. Yup, Han is a liar. I always knew that, but until the last few months, it was only about little things, like he had beaten a certain video game or owned a certain movie. You know, just things that he thought made him look cooler than he was - even though he was 100% cool at that point in time. But now it's out of control. Lying about seeing Cheer behind my back? Not cool. So does he love me? Does he not? Did he really get drunk? Who knows? Who cares? There's no way I can any longer believe what he says unless I have proof.

4. Disloyalty
No, he didn't technically "cheat." As far as physically. But he definitely had an emotional affair. He was not loyal. He let his guard down with Cheer, and even if they didn't "do the dirty," there was definitely something going on. After all, they were talking about going out. He kissed her on the cheek. He told her that he could see them together in the future. He lead her and I on at the same time. And I really don't feel like putting up with that.

5. Insensitivity
When a girl - particularly your girlfriend - is crying, you don't tell her to "cut the crap" and then storm off. Unless you want to make the problem worse. This is especially true if your girlfriend is crying about something you did. Some like, say, lying or being disloyal. There's no crap to cut. You did something wrong, it hurt her, and she's upset. You fix it. But did Han do that? No. Because he doesn't care about anything but himself. Today, he flat out said he wasn't upset about us, which as good as saying that he doesn't care about the two years we were happy together. And did he seem bothered when I, in tears, told him that I hated him and wanted him to stay away from me until he could stop acting like a jerk? No, I don't think he was bothered at all. Because he could care less how much he's hurt me.

6. This Entry
Just the fact that I even had to write this entry. This is my 100th entry. I was looking forward to this. I was going to do something fun for this post. You know, celebratory "Yay 100 entries!" post. But this is what's in my brain right now. All of this is inside of me and it needs out. And I am so ticked that he has done so much crap wrong that I had to waste my 100th entry on him. I'm even more ticked that I wasted two years of my life on him.

Reading this list, you really have to wonder where all the material for the last entry came from? That entry was based entirely on my feelings for Han about eight months ago - before he turned into what is described about. I don't miss Han now. I miss Han then. But this is the Han he is now, and I can't want to be with someone like this, and I can't date someone for something they aren't. I mean, let's face it - I love him, and I might always. But I can't put up with this kind of pain, and I shouldn't have to.

<3 o.