...for they have no power to move the hearts of men.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
# 1
I don't know if there is anything that would be more fun that working in Disneyland. Being a character, especially Alice, would be a dream come true, but even working with the entertainment and theater, character design, visual developement, or as a photographer would do the trick. It would be perfect if, during college, when I am apart from my friends, I could take a summer to go with Elsa and Han to live in California and work in Disneyland. And why not? Save up for a year or two, get a van or a truck, and rent a house. We can build ramps for Elsa, and if she's uncomfortable with us helping her with personal things, we can always hire a nurse (provided that we either save up enough or our parents would be willing to chip in). The hardest part, I think, would be guaranteeing ourselves a job in Disneyland. There are college programs, though, and we could always take advantage of that.
# 2
I would like a career that revolves largely around children and teenagers, possibly with some involvement in art as well. As far as children go, I wouldn't mind being a social case worker... I know that they are often fought against and disliked for taking children out of their homes, but I have seen too many children left in homes that were unsuitable, and someone has to do it. Pain that is inflicted on children is my least favorite kind, because children are so unable to defend themselves against it. I also would "enjoy" doing therapy with children from abusive homes, troubled youth, or people with personality/emotional disorders. Particularly when it comes to teenagers, my heart breaks for those who have such a loss of hope as to attempt suicide. I have a strangely strong desire to prevent it. As for the art, I think it would be great to do art therapy, or even make advances in that field (as it is fairly new), but if not, then I'll just do it on the side.
# 3
How long have I wanted to write a book? Several years. Writing seems to come naturally to me, based on teachers' comments and how easy it is for me to come up with stories. The real challenge is completing anything. Someday, I will write a book, maybe more than one. I can only hope that it will be good enough to be well-known and well-liked.
# 4
Of all the hurting people that I can think of, my heart goes out to two kinds in particular: Depressed teenagers (See # 2) and enslaved women and children. For a while now I have desperately wanted to go on some kind of trip to help somehow with the slave trade issue. I don't know how one goes about actually getting people out of slavery, but I would be much, much more than happy to help freed slaves develope the skills they need to build a life for themselves, whether it means reading/writing or an art form. I don't know if I can think of any other experience that sounds that gratifying.
# 5
I don't know how I feel about actually giving birth to a child. I am not very big and I am somewhat weak, but I still desperately want children, and I think that with my feelings for children born into bad environments, adoption seems like a good plan. I want to design and build a large house with my husband, with a really nice garden (on the roof, maybe?) and provide a good environment for children. I am scared half to death with the idea of not being able to raise a daughter or son correctly (a.k.a., my daughter sleeps around or my son is abusive), but I am too thrilled with the idea of providing a happy childhood to a child who would not have normally had one to let that hinder me... too much.
# 6
If there is ever a cure found for Elsa's condition, I'll be the first to help pay for it. And, as unlikely as it would ever be, if I ever find myself in the position to fund a large amount of research, it will be for her. I certainly can't imagine myself in her position, I'd be spiteful half the time and catatonic the other half, and it must be very difficult for her to keep cheerful sometimes.
# 7
To me, this seems more far-fetched than the last one, but I would really like to be known, at least a little, for my art. I don't know how one would go about doing that, but I can only hope that I will figure that out, as well as find the time and concentration to finish my "art" more often.
# 8
I want a big, beautiful wedding to share with the most perfect man ever. *coughHancough* It will be the most beautiful wedding that anyone has ever seen. The music will be perfect, the atmosphere will be perfect, the decor will be pure, elegant, and still unique. It's my only chance for a fairy tale, and I intend for it to be one. I'll design my own dress (and I will be a princess), I'll have a beautiful ice cream cake (complete with roses), and my ring will be simple, but graceful, with one (very, very shiny) diamond. Everything will just be... perfect. (Beware to anyone who tries to mess it up...)
<3 o.
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
We All Dream
...we do not understand our dreams. yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.
-Erich Fromm
As of late, a lot of weird things have been happening in my dreams and in my life. I have been thinking about them a lot lately and I just thought I'd share them with you.
Twice, I have dreamed about going to Plato's Closet and looking for my lost ITALIA shirt. I found it in the first dream, but I couldn't buy it at the time (maybe because I was asleep in bed...), and in the second dream, they were rearranging the store so that only part of it was rearranged by color. I don't remember if I ever found my shirt, but I think I did. I hope I keep having those dreams, because it makes me feel better about my shirt being there. I know that my dreams are only my subconcious working out things that are on my mind, but it still feels reassuring to me.
I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I don't like to sleep. I hate sleeping. Every time I sleep, I feel like I'm wasting time. Every hour I spend asleep, I could be drawing, talking, writing, reading, watching, and I remind myself of that all the time.
So it's really weird that I have taken a nap almost every day this summer, including at my friend's house on my birthday! I get ten to fourteen hours of sleep every day... that's a lot! Especially for me! Now, sometimes it's because I'm actually tired. But in the morning, I won't wake up because I always want to finish my dream. In the most recent one that I remember, I was in New Jersey, and I was with a bunch of street kids on some kind of trip. Something went wrong, and we had to make our way down McCormick's Creek (which, by the way, is in Indiana), but it wasn't much of a creek, it was more like a really huge, really fast river. One boy in particular offered to help. We rode down the creek on this log, and it was amazing. The boy was African American, and I remember thinking at one point, "Wow, he has got the most gorgeous skin I have ever seen." He told me his name was McCormick's Creek. It was really weird, and even though I stayed in bed two extra hours to see how the dream ended, I don't remember.
A few nights ago, I was taking Greg home, and we stopped a thrift store to see when it opened. The thrift store was right next to the square, and Kalel (a boy that Elsa really likes) was on the square with a friend and we talked a little bit, and he seemed... really weird. Not nearly as nice or fun as he normally is, and Elsa had recently been talking about how he sometimes acts different or ignores her around different people. So, a couple of nights later, I was talking to her about her thinking that Kalel was this perfect guy, when really, he would disappoint her at times even if they did date, because he seemed to be kind of superficial, and she... sort of freaked out.
Elsa doesn't dream. I mean, everyone dreams, but she never remembers her dreams. It turns out that the reason she spazzed was because the same night I ran into Kalel on the square was the night she had a dream about him ignoring her around a bunch of other people, and it was the only dream she had ever remembered.
So, a lot of strange things have been happening in the sleep of me and others lately. And that's all I got.
<3 o.
-Erich Fromm
As of late, a lot of weird things have been happening in my dreams and in my life. I have been thinking about them a lot lately and I just thought I'd share them with you.
Twice, I have dreamed about going to Plato's Closet and looking for my lost ITALIA shirt. I found it in the first dream, but I couldn't buy it at the time (maybe because I was asleep in bed...), and in the second dream, they were rearranging the store so that only part of it was rearranged by color. I don't remember if I ever found my shirt, but I think I did. I hope I keep having those dreams, because it makes me feel better about my shirt being there. I know that my dreams are only my subconcious working out things that are on my mind, but it still feels reassuring to me.
I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I don't like to sleep. I hate sleeping. Every time I sleep, I feel like I'm wasting time. Every hour I spend asleep, I could be drawing, talking, writing, reading, watching, and I remind myself of that all the time.
So it's really weird that I have taken a nap almost every day this summer, including at my friend's house on my birthday! I get ten to fourteen hours of sleep every day... that's a lot! Especially for me! Now, sometimes it's because I'm actually tired. But in the morning, I won't wake up because I always want to finish my dream. In the most recent one that I remember, I was in New Jersey, and I was with a bunch of street kids on some kind of trip. Something went wrong, and we had to make our way down McCormick's Creek (which, by the way, is in Indiana), but it wasn't much of a creek, it was more like a really huge, really fast river. One boy in particular offered to help. We rode down the creek on this log, and it was amazing. The boy was African American, and I remember thinking at one point, "Wow, he has got the most gorgeous skin I have ever seen." He told me his name was McCormick's Creek. It was really weird, and even though I stayed in bed two extra hours to see how the dream ended, I don't remember.
A few nights ago, I was taking Greg home, and we stopped a thrift store to see when it opened. The thrift store was right next to the square, and Kalel (a boy that Elsa really likes) was on the square with a friend and we talked a little bit, and he seemed... really weird. Not nearly as nice or fun as he normally is, and Elsa had recently been talking about how he sometimes acts different or ignores her around different people. So, a couple of nights later, I was talking to her about her thinking that Kalel was this perfect guy, when really, he would disappoint her at times even if they did date, because he seemed to be kind of superficial, and she... sort of freaked out.
Elsa doesn't dream. I mean, everyone dreams, but she never remembers her dreams. It turns out that the reason she spazzed was because the same night I ran into Kalel on the square was the night she had a dream about him ignoring her around a bunch of other people, and it was the only dream she had ever remembered.
So, a lot of strange things have been happening in the sleep of me and others lately. And that's all I got.
<3 o.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
One Time I Had a Dream That I Could Breathe Under Water...
...Guess what? I can't breath under water.
-Grace Polk, Joan of Arcadia Season 1
Last night, I was in the school restroom, inside a stall, and there was a teenage boy outside it. I asked him to leave multiple times, and he always refused. I was practically begging, head against the stall door, for him to leave me alone, and he kept saying he wasn't going to leave. When I told others about the dream, I told them it was because he wanted my chapstick, because later in the dream he took my chapstick, but the truth is, I felt so helpless and weak. Afterwards, I went on to dream about a kitten whose fur could turn into popcorn when it was wet, but that is beside the point.
I don't really take dream interpretation seriously, mostly due to dreams like the kitten with popcorn fur and the shaggy dog from 101 Dalmations falling on top of and squishing the vultures from The Jungle Book. However, I do know that dreams are subconcsious thoughts, and that sometimes they are us working out our emotions subconsciously. I can tell you flat out that that dream was an expression of my feelings of helplessness, weakness, and worthlessness, because that's how I felt. However, I wonder if the fact I was in a bathroom stall meant anything? One website said that bathrooms are a symbol of cleansing, and I don't know if the boy represented a specific person or just the male race in general. If I had to take a guess at a deeper meaning, a specific boy (and I have someone in mind) is keeping me from ridding myself of feelings of helplessness, weakness, and worthlessness. I think it's not a bad interpretation, myself. :)
Would you like to know a secret? Of course you wouldn't, you're not even reading this. However, since you're not reading, I'm sure you wouldn't mind my sharing it anyway: I sometimes look forward to having nightmares. Why is that? I tried to research it, but I couldn't find anything. It's not even that I enjoy them; I don't; I hate them. I get so scared over nightmares, and upset, and it makes me think of things that make me even more paranoid than I already am. So why should I go to bed and wish for a new nightmare almost every night?
I know that no one is going to answer that question, so I don't expect anything to happen in response to this. It will simply float on through the void of cyberspace, probably never to be discovered beneath the billions of gigabytes that will cover it within hours, similar to how my memory will be lost to eternity.
I am a worthless pessimist, am I not?
<3 o.
-Grace Polk, Joan of Arcadia Season 1
Last night, I was in the school restroom, inside a stall, and there was a teenage boy outside it. I asked him to leave multiple times, and he always refused. I was practically begging, head against the stall door, for him to leave me alone, and he kept saying he wasn't going to leave. When I told others about the dream, I told them it was because he wanted my chapstick, because later in the dream he took my chapstick, but the truth is, I felt so helpless and weak. Afterwards, I went on to dream about a kitten whose fur could turn into popcorn when it was wet, but that is beside the point.
I don't really take dream interpretation seriously, mostly due to dreams like the kitten with popcorn fur and the shaggy dog from 101 Dalmations falling on top of and squishing the vultures from The Jungle Book. However, I do know that dreams are subconcsious thoughts, and that sometimes they are us working out our emotions subconsciously. I can tell you flat out that that dream was an expression of my feelings of helplessness, weakness, and worthlessness, because that's how I felt. However, I wonder if the fact I was in a bathroom stall meant anything? One website said that bathrooms are a symbol of cleansing, and I don't know if the boy represented a specific person or just the male race in general. If I had to take a guess at a deeper meaning, a specific boy (and I have someone in mind) is keeping me from ridding myself of feelings of helplessness, weakness, and worthlessness. I think it's not a bad interpretation, myself. :)
Would you like to know a secret? Of course you wouldn't, you're not even reading this. However, since you're not reading, I'm sure you wouldn't mind my sharing it anyway: I sometimes look forward to having nightmares. Why is that? I tried to research it, but I couldn't find anything. It's not even that I enjoy them; I don't; I hate them. I get so scared over nightmares, and upset, and it makes me think of things that make me even more paranoid than I already am. So why should I go to bed and wish for a new nightmare almost every night?
I know that no one is going to answer that question, so I don't expect anything to happen in response to this. It will simply float on through the void of cyberspace, probably never to be discovered beneath the billions of gigabytes that will cover it within hours, similar to how my memory will be lost to eternity.
I am a worthless pessimist, am I not?
<3 o.
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