One Time I Had a Dream That I Could Breathe Under Water...

...Guess what? I can't breath under water.
-Grace Polk, Joan of Arcadia Season 1

Last night, I was in the school restroom, inside a stall, and there was a teenage boy outside it. I asked him to leave multiple times, and he always refused. I was practically begging, head against the stall door, for him to leave me alone, and he kept saying he wasn't going to leave. When I told others about the dream, I told them it was because he wanted my chapstick, because later in the dream he took my chapstick, but the truth is, I felt so helpless and weak. Afterwards, I went on to dream about a kitten whose fur could turn into popcorn when it was wet, but that is beside the point.

I don't really take dream interpretation seriously, mostly due to dreams like the kitten with popcorn fur and the shaggy dog from 101 Dalmations falling on top of and squishing the vultures from The Jungle Book. However, I do know that dreams are subconcsious thoughts, and that sometimes they are us working out our emotions subconsciously. I can tell you flat out that that dream was an expression of my feelings of helplessness, weakness, and worthlessness, because that's how I felt. However, I wonder if the fact I was in a bathroom stall meant anything? One website said that bathrooms are a symbol of cleansing, and I don't know if the boy represented a specific person or just the male race in general. If I had to take a guess at a deeper meaning, a specific boy (and I have someone in mind) is keeping me from ridding myself of feelings of helplessness, weakness, and worthlessness. I think it's not a bad interpretation, myself. :)

Would you like to know a secret? Of course you wouldn't, you're not even reading this. However, since you're not reading, I'm sure you wouldn't mind my sharing it anyway: I sometimes look forward to having nightmares. Why is that? I tried to research it, but I couldn't find anything. It's not even that I enjoy them; I don't; I hate them. I get so scared over nightmares, and upset, and it makes me think of things that make me even more paranoid than I already am. So why should I go to bed and wish for a new nightmare almost every night?

I know that no one is going to answer that question, so I don't expect anything to happen in response to this. It will simply float on through the void of cyberspace, probably never to be discovered beneath the billions of gigabytes that will cover it within hours, similar to how my memory will be lost to eternity.

I am a worthless pessimist, am I not?

<3 o.