Prom Night

I had only dance three times in my life before Prom:
1. Square dancing required in elementary school P.E.
2. One dance with a cousin at a wedding
3. 0.5 of a dance with Han at a different wedding.

So, my lack of experience and self-esteem made it very difficult for Han and his friends to get me out onto the dance floor last night. Once they did, though, they could hardly keep me off of it. I love to dance with Han, I hardly got tired the whole dance (Although I can't say the same for him).

I wish I could say that I was the same way with bowling. Unfortunately, I nearly ruined Post Prom with my attitude about bowling. I am very self-conscious, so it's very hard for me to have fun doing something that I am not any good at. I am not any good at bowling. This clearly would mean that I didn't have fun bowling at Post Prom, which upset Han immensely. After a discussion and long amount of time in the bathroom re-applying makeup, we were better. I won some free laser tag and he won some free Cold Stone Creamery, so in order to make up for my mopey attitude during bowling, I am planning a night out on the town for the two of us to include bowling, laser tag, and ice cream. :)

Now that you have read all the boring details that mean nothing to you, I will tell you something. It is very hard for me to ever call myself pretty. However, I can honestly tell you that last night, I was not ugly.

Everything I have to say about beauty and the like is in the post "How To Be Pretty" and my basic feelings of myself are in the post "meet o.", but in case you haven't read those, this is what it comes down to:

I don't like me one little bit, and my appearance is a very large part of that dislike. I find the the standards for beauty to be impossible for me to fit into. So, while Prom had its upsetting parts, like bowling, and its energizing parts, like dancing, overall, the best part was feeling prettier than I ever usually feel.

I know that a lot of people, particularly my friends, consider Prom to be one big lame dance, where the pretty girls get to show off their off their boobs, and then everyone else goes and gets drunk, and that's partially true. It's probably the main reason that none of my friends would go to Prom this year. However, every girl should go to a Prom, just to feel prettier than she normally does. I'm partially happy that none of my friends went, because I know that none of them would have had that attitude about it.

You will probably not be the prettiest one at Prom, but you can take advantage of the opportunity to be abnormally pretty. Even though that may not be "How To Be Pretty," it will definitely help you feel pretty. And for at least one night, that's almost good.

<3 o.

Dear Nothing

I am well aware that it is more likely that when I write, I am writing to nothing as opposed to something. However, a new friend Peter (or worldman) has informed me that this may not always be the case (which was very friendly of him. Thank you, Peter. :] ). Still, for the time being, I can write to nothing as well as I can write to something, if not better.

The stories of how each of my friends have slowly drifted away from me are long ones, not quite worth the sharing except to vent my frustration, which I may in time do. Today, though, my only good friend left dished out to me a good, metaphorical slap in the face, and I have to admit that, despite my angry facade, it stung quite a bit.

After promising she'd go to prom with me, Elsa had to cancel a couple of months before. I was upset, but accepted it. Now, though, she refuses to even come and see me at Grand March because she wants to watch the movie Prom Night on actual prom night.

There is a lot I could say about how much that hurts me and why. It can pretty much be summed up in the following:

And that it really hurts that none of my friends do care enough. Even when I tell them that it hurts me and why. (It hurts because none of them care.)

I have witnessed and experienced so much unhappiness in the past twenty-four hours with various people, just on a very basic, surface level. I hate to think what is going on behind the walls of them. Why do people hurt other people? Why would you not help another human being if you possibly could? I know that I have hurt others, and I know that I have not always helped where I could have, but I still don't understand: Why? Why should we be afraid of doing a good thing?

<3 o.

p.s.: The pictures, once again, is from postsecretcommunity.com