There are a variety of things to speak of, all very briefly.
Firstly, I was very unimpressed with all of the options our Drama class was presented with to choose from for our semester play--so I wrote one. It's called "Saving Wonderland and How Alice Did It." I'm hopeless, I know. I had Han take it to Mrs. H--he simply told her that a girl in the hallway outside her room asked him to give it to her. She did not mention it during class, but neither did we pick a play.
It was a stupid, stupid thing to do, really. I know that there is no chance on Earth that it will be voted on, even if she does mention it to the class. I don't know why I did that, I will only end up looking stupid. I only hope she doesn't figure out that it was me.
Secondly, I hate school. I hate it more than I thought I would, more than I thought I possibly could. There is no real reason. I am just distressed throughout it, from beginning to end, counting the minutes until the end of each class--literally. I don't know how long I can handle this kind of torment. Really, most of my teachers are very nice, and none of them are mean, and there has not been an abundance of homework--so I don't know what to do. I don't know what the problem is, so I don't know how to go about fixing it.
Thirdly... I don't want to talk about tonight. I don't want to think about it. But because it has made me think so much, I will tell you what part of tonight has caused the thought. It is all you will know about what happened.
I don't know why, but I started screaming. And I just couldn't stop.
And now, I'm miserable. Literally. I'm exhausted, but I don't want to go to bed, because I know it will lead to thoughts of tonight, and I don't want to think about it. I don't know what conclusions I would draw if I did, and I don't want to know.
Lastly, I'm on a new medication, Prozac. I think that's the one with the depressed rock in their commercial... I'm supposedly taking it for headaches, but I believe it's also an anti-depressant, so if it could help at all with my stress/unhappiness, that would be great... of course, I thought that that would happen with the Celexa, and then I had some kind of allergic reaction.
I'm pretty sure this has been the worst first week of senior year that I could have possibly imagined for myself. No, actually, this is worse than I could have imagined. Because anything that I could have imagined, I did imagine, and so I was kind of mentally prepared. I was so not ready for this. Not only was I not prepared, but I don't even know what's wrong... and since I don't know the problem, I don't know how to fix it.
Goodnight, blogging community.
Sweet dreams.
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3 comments:
I think your play sounds marvelous!
Have you got anyone (an adult) that you can talk to about how you feel? Did anyone hear you sceaming and what did they do about it?
Hopefully you'll settle into school again. A lot of people hate school - in two weeks I'll be prizing my son out of bed every morning again and sometimes taking him to school to make sure he gets there (he's 17).
About the play; It's incredible that you wrote a play like that and very quickly! If your teacher decides not to use it I'm sure she won't mention it. Think of it as experience, practice for the future.
I think that your teacher is probably pretty impressed that someone did something rather than just sit around and moan.
My name is Daniel Wilson and i would like to show you my personal experience with Celexa.
I am 27 years old. I took this drug on and off for 3 years (2 years on, 1 off). It definetely helped my anxiety. The major side effect was the weight gain. Trying the new version (Lexapro) now. I'm hoping it will have better side effects.
I have experienced some of these side effects-
Weight Gain, diarrhea.
I hope this information will be useful to others,
Daniel Wilson
Celexa Prescription Medication
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