Black And White

I am a very dramatic person in reality. To me, everything is black and white. Not only is it black and white--it is either very, very black or very, very white. That movie was either the most terrrible, awful piece of film I've ever seen and no one should ever go see it, or it was the most wonderful, fantastic camerawork to ever grace our fair planet and you should base your life around its basic plot. If I ever say that something is "okay" or "alright" or "good except for..." or "it wasn't that great, but it was still...", it is only after a great deal of thought.

Similarly, when I look in the mirror, I usually see myself as one of the ugliest creatures, nay, the ugliest creature, in all of my school, if not the entire state, and I only want to crawl back into bed, say I have a migraine, pretend I am vomitting, and sleep all day. Other times, I think I am probably the cutest, coyest, maybe even sexiest girl alive, and there's no way that any man with half a drop of testosterone in his body could deny himself a lingering "glance" at me, aglow in all my stunning beauty!

But today, I looked in the mirror, and for the first time, I saw something different. I saw an ultimately unremarkable thing. A teenage girl, with hair that is maybe a tad bit darker than one would expect, and cheek bones less prominent than they used to be, whose eyes hold no trace of a special anything, and aren't dull or bright. Her body has a shape to it, maybe, but nothing that would draw any attention, admiring or mocking, and her hair could maybe use a cut.

Utterly nondescript and, as I said, unremarkable. And it seems to me that, lately, nearly everything has been unremarkable.

I don't know how to feel about that. I feel rather like I should like to lay on the couch with a pillow and a blanket and never move again.

I doubt, however, that that would be entirely healthy.

You know, black and white surely is not quite as interesting as color, but it is much better than gray.

<3 o.